It can be challenging to know how to support a friend or family member going through a divorce, especially if you’ve never been through one yourself. But being there for them – or showing up for them– is especially important as they navigate this new chapter of their lives, emotionally and logistically.
Below are three ways to support a loved one facing this particular challenge. If you’ve been a Le Wren supporter for a while now you won’t be surprised that these ideas center around being present for them, listening to them and making sure they know you’re thinking of them.
Divorce is often defined as “the death of a marriage” and like grief, those going through a divorce may find themselves going through the grief stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Hopefully they have the support of a trained therapist to lean on but your being there for them as they talk through what’s happening is incredibly important too. They may end up talking circles, but that’s okay. Let them.
When listening, try to do so actively, meaning: don’t interrupt or interject. Let them finish their thoughts before you speak. Ask sensitive questions thoughtfully only when there is a natural pause to do so.
Invite them out often and continue to do so even if they decline
Those going through a divorce may feel disconnected from their social circle as their circumstances change. Invite them out for lunch, dinner, the movies, a walk – whatever. Help them get out of the house. They’ll likely decline early on but don’t let that dissuade you, keep asking them. Eventually they’ll accept. They need their friends around them now more than ever.
Send thoughtful gifts to help them feel supported and cared for
These thoughtful gestures often mean the most when one’s world is crumbling. By sending gifts that are lasting (i.e., not food or flowers), your loved one will be reminded how much you care day after day, every time they see the gifts you sent.
Send a more significant gift when you’ve first learned of the news, or send little gifts every so often to give them something to look forward to receiving and opening.
These are some of our most-loved gifts for those going through a divorce:
- Meditation Stone
- Cup of Love Tea
- Ritual and Wellness Journal
- Chocolate. Always Chocolate.
- You're Doing Great Candle
For more tips on how to support someone through a divorce, check out this blog post from Oprah Daily.