These are three simple ways to meaningfully support your wife/partner/spouse after her C-section. These tips apply to vaginal deliveries too, but unlike a vaginal delivery, C-sections are major surgery. And unlike all other forms of major surgery, the mother then has a newborn baby to take care of on top of managing her own recovery. Add in the resulting postpartum hormones and it’s frankly a wild situation. She needs your help.
I write from experience, having gone through both types of deliveries with my own children. Personally, I found my C-section far more traumatizing than my vaginal delivery. If you’d like to read more about that, please click here.
Now, on to the tips…
#1: Give her time to herself, every day.
Imagine having your abdomen cut open, a newborn baby being pulled out and having little to no control over your body or your emotions for the next few weeks (arguably months) afterwards.
She needs a modicum of control back into her life. Make time for her to be alone to do whatever she wants for 30-45 minutes at least a day (this does not include showers, toilet breaks or doing chores, fyi).
Give her some power back over her life so she can feel a little bit more like herself in the face of everything that’s happening to and around her.
#2 Ask how she is, every day.
Following a newborn’s birth, they are at the center of everything. And while I don’t want to detract from the sheer wonder of a newborn, society loses track of how the woman who brought the baby into the world is doing. What about her?
So ask your partner every single day “how are you?” Don’t do it in passing. Sit with her, look at her and ask her. And then actively listen to whatever she wants to say in response. Give her a big long hug too.
This will help her feel seen in the face of everything going on around her. There is real power in feeling seen and connected to your partner in those early postpartum days.
#3 Do the chores.
Just do the chores. Don’t wait to be asked. Just do them so she doesn’t have to think about them. She will have severely limited mobility following her C-section and a newborn to feed and take care of. You worry about the laundry, the dishes and cooking. Or, if you're in the position to hire someone to deal with those tasks, do that.
This is such an easy win for both of you and it will mean so much to her that she didn’t have to ask you to do.
And, as a bonus tip, you can always get her something just for her. Gifting is our love language here, of course. Our Postpartum Gift Box was created with the mother’s emotional and physical recovery in mind and includes key items to help her feel loved on her postpartum journey.